Wednesday, November 16, 2011

geek with curves: The Millennium Falcon Makes a Perfect Apple Pie

geek with curves: The Millennium Falcon Makes a Perfect Apple Pie

This is awesome... and tasty.

The Droids Follow

Artoo wasn't staying as told.
Staying put wasn't fun so he rolled
To catch up with his master.
Straight into disaster
Along with his buddy of gold.

And C3PO gasped with shocked awe
To see what went on deep in the maw.
To see droid making droid
Was a crime even Freud
Would have blushed to have seen what he saw.

"No pushing, Artoo" the droid warned.
But the little one wouldn't be scorned.
A small push firmly dealt
Put his friend on the belt
And it carried him off as he mourned.

Artoo, using rockets, gave chase.
The assembly line took 3PO's face,
Pulled it off of his body,
(that connection was shoddy)
Then affixed it to a battle droid base.

He said, "I'm confused!" (but no crying)
But Artoo right on past kept on flying.
To rescue Amidala
Who was trying to crawla
And get outta the bowl before dying.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Stay Tuned: It's Not Dead Yet.

One of these days, I'll find time to get back to this project. Today is not that day. Enjoy this double dactyl:

Fizzaley Bizzaley
Jason the Talibutt,
Keeping so busy he's
Slacked on this task

Rewriting Star Wars is
Thanks for your patience; its
All I can ask.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Padme and Anakin Arrive on Geonosis

As they land in a column of steam,
The two rescuers plan and they scheme.
“Ani, follow my lead
As to how to proceed,
With diplomacy.” (Padme’s main theme.)

So with that this pair marched through the cave,
Left the droids, saying, “You two behave.”
T’was a hard thing to do
For the little R2.
For a droid, he was gallantly brave.

Up ahead, the two humans went deeper
Inside of the cave which grew steeper.
Sensing creatures were coming,
His lightsaber humming,
Ani cut through a charging cave creeper.

Then he swung and cut down a few more
As Padme escaped through a door.
Then their walkway retracted
Before Padme reacted,
She slipped and fell down to the floor.

A conveyor belt broke Padme’s fall,
But before she rejoiced her close call
The belt took her away
Towards a factory. “Hey!
Where you going?” Ani called from the wall.

So he jumped down to follow her lead.
(Because that was the plan they’d agreed.)
Soon the cave’s rocky scenery
Gave way to machinery
Making legions of droids at great speed!

Friday, September 9, 2011

Count Dooku Attempts to Sway Obi Wan

Obi Wan hung from glowing restraints
As he waits with the patience of saints.
He was seen by the Count
Who then tried to discount
His involvement; He playacts complaints...

“I will ask that they let you go soon!”
Promised Dooku (who then changed his tune...)
As he tried to sway Obi
To join him, although, be
Assured he was really a goon.

“The Jedi are blind to the fact
That the Sith have a growing impact.
The Senate is under
their sway and I wonder
If it’s already too late to act.”

“I need help,” Dooku went on to say,
“So it’s fortunate you’re here today.
If we work as a team,
We’ll uncover their scheme...”
“Work with you?” Obi answered, “No way!”

He continued, “I’ll never join you!
You’re a fraud, that’s the last thing I’d do.”
Dooku’s brow made a crease,
“To secure your release
May be difficult.” Then he withdrew.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

What To Do?

Bail Organa was sure there’d be war.
They would have to act fast just before
An offensive attacked.
There was one daunting fact:
Only two hundred Jedi in store!

“That’s too little! We need some more troops!”
“We have clones...a whole army of dupes.”
“If we wait on the Senate
...this whole voting tenet...
There’s no time, we must find some new loops... (as in loopholes, sorry nothing else fit here)

“If we granted emergency power
To the Chancellor, the man of the hour,
We could bypass a vote,
Get those clones on a boat,
And the Trade Federation will cower.”

“But who would propose such a thing?
Who has the influence to swing
All the Sens to agree?”
Jar Jar Binks said, “Pick me!”
“This proposal is one I will bring.”

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Distress Signal

Artoo held his silence no more
And played Obi’s message before
It became obsolete.
With a beep and a tweet
Obi’s hologram stood on the floor.

“Resend this message to base!”
Said the Jedi, concern on his face.
Padme forwarded on
To: Base, From: Obi Wan
“Emergency Call From Deep Space!”

“Jango Fett led me to Geonosis
Where I found those Trade guys without noses
And the Guilds and Count Dooku
Are making things cuckoo...
Things are bad, that’s my expert prognosis.”

Then the message cut off in mid-stream
As the Jedi was jumped by a team
Of Droidekas with guns.
These things were the ones
That had shields: Battle Robots Supreme.

“Young Anakin, stay where you are.
We will send out more Jedi to spar
With the Count.” Windu said.
But by then Obi’d be dead
Because Coruscant just was too far.

Padme said, “I don’t think that they’ll make it.
The chance is now ours so let’s take it.”
Ani liked how she thought
Not to do as they ought...
Direct order? They’d be nuts not to break it.