The Battle Plan

“We’ve located the ship,” Gunray said,
To Sidious’s floating hologram head.
“Her move is too bold,
But let it unfold.
Keep an eye on her and don’t be misled.”

The Queen and her new found comrade
Wrote out battle plans on an old scratch pad.
Jar Jar practically floated
When he was promoted,
“Weesa maken you General (Bombad)!”

The plan was to draw the droids out
To the Gungan army for a direct bout.
Then a group of Naboo
Would try to sneak through
And capture Mr. Viceroy Sans Snout.

“The Gungans might take a great loss,”
Said Qui Gon, looking out across.
“We’re not faint of heart.
We will do our part.”
Said the giant Gungan named Boss.

“If we can free a few pilots en route
We could launch some small ships in pursuit.
With the control ship destroyed,
Their communication would be void,
And the battle droids wouldn’t know who to shoot.

Qui Gon said, “This plan is well thought out
But in order to bring it about
We HAVE to catch Nute,
And your fighters MUST shoot
Through the shields of the control ship, no doubt.

Next time: War

Treaty At the Temple Ruins

Jar Jar led his friends through the glade
To the place where the Gungans stayed.
Jar Jar gave a whistle,
The bushes did bristle,
And out came Captian Tarpals’ brigade.

The Captain was now at a loss
This intrusion was making him cross.
Jar Jar smiled weakly
And then he spoke meekly,
“Weesa comin’ ta see the Boss?”

He brought the group before Boss Nass
To explain why they dared to trespass.
Boss Nass placed the blame
Of why the droid army came
On the Naboo and the Jedi en masse.

They were about to be turned into soup
When Padme stepped out from the troop.
“This decoy’s a screen,
I am the real queen.
And we’ll need to work together as a group.”

“We’ve lived here in peace all this time.
But thanks to this Federation slime,
To put up a resistance,
We need your assistance
Can you help put to justice this crime?”

Boss was moved by the queen’s humble pleas.
Padme even got down on her knees.
“We thought you were pompous,
But the droid army will stomp us,
If we don’t start being friends,” Boss agrees.


Next time: The Battle Plan 

The Return To Naboo

Ani was told to ‘watch and learn’
No “training” but the boy could discern
What he was conveying
If Ani was paying
Attention as Qui Gon’s intern.

They met at the ship clad in chrome,
Again ‘cross the stars they would roam,
It was back to Naboo.
Jar Jar shouted, “Yahoo!
“Wessa be goin’ back home!”

Sidious was leaving no doubts
With his Neimoidian pawns without snouts.
“You must kill them all,
But I’m sending Darth Maul
To deal with the Jedi standouts.”

The Naboo pilot gave Ani some tips
About flying on these deep space trips.
Ani caught on quick
These things seemed to click
The boy seemed right at home aboard ships.

Qui Gon reminded the Naboo
He could only protect, not pursue.
The Queen had a plan,
That involved the frog man.
Jar Jar would have to come through.

In the swamp where the ship touched down,
Jar Jar headed for his Gungan hometown.
But when he got there
He found it was bare
And so he returned with a frown.

They could tell by the look on his face
The Gungans were not at their base.
But they hadn’t been captured
Or secretly raptured,
They fled to a Gungan hiding place.

Next time: Treaty At the Temple Ruins

Watto Takes the Bait

The queen’s handmaiden disagreed
About the best way to proceed
“To trust this boy with our fate
Is an idea that I hate.”
But Qui Gon said she’d have to concede.

So they went to Watto with their offer
And he changed from schemer to scoffer
It wasn’t long to wait
until he took the bait,
Watto dreamed of a very full coffer.

Ani showed off his lil’ racing pod
Jar Jar blundered again like a clod
With a flash and a flicker
He ZAPPED his poor licker
While the onlookers laughed and guffawed.

When Jar Jar was done playing the jerk
Ani started up the pod with a smirk
With engines a-fired
His craft was admired
They were beginning to think this might work!

That night Qui Gon took a small reading
From a scratch on Ani’s arm that was bleeding
Midi-chlorians explode-ah
He had more than Yoda!
Jedi training, this boy was sure needing!

Next time: Race Day!

Don't Mess With Sebulba

Qui Gon contacted his pupil, Obi Wan.
To see if the ship had anything thereon
to trade and do barter
For a hyperdrive starter
But there wasn’t enought there to pawn.

Our heroes walked along past a deli.
Jar Jar wanted to fill his poor belly.
Swiped a treat with his tongue
But he slipped and it flung
Splattering an angry customer with jelly.

The victim leaped out like a fiend,
Feeling abased and abused and demeaned.
Grabbed the Gungan and grilled him
And probably woulda’ killed him
Had Anakin Skywalker not intervened.

“Be careful, Sebulba,” Ani chided
To the Dug with self assurance he prided.
“He’s got a powerful friend
Who would see to your end
It would be a shame to get him excited.”

Sebulba threatened Ani to watch his back.
He’d repay him on the podrace track.
Noting him as a foe,
He let Jar Jar go
Just this once he would cut them some slack.

“Around here you must watch where you step.”
Said young Anakin, street savvy and hep.
“You must get back to your craft.
Are you feeling that draft?
We’re about to get sanded and windswept.”

They paused in one of Mos Espa’s alleys
To buy a kind of fruit they called “pallies”.
“Storm’s coming, Ani,
Better hurry your fanny
And get indoors  before the sandstorm rallies.”

The storm came so suddenly, leaving no time
To make it all the way back in this clime.
To wait out this maelstrom
He’d take them home to his mom
And hurry...the wind was reaching it’s prime.

Next time: Mama Skywalker

Anakin Meets Padme

While Watto and Qui Gon went out back
Anakin seemed somewhat taken aback.
In Padme’s presence he basked.
“Are you an angel?” he asked.
Padme laughed and she smiled just a crack.

“Well you sure are a funny little man.
I’ve never heard of angels,” she began.
“I’d know if I see one,
Therefore you must be one.”
Said the boy, her new number one fan.

Padme learned that the boy was a slave
Owned by Hutts and now Watto’s lucky knave.
To be owned seemed so odd,
It should be outlawed
Thought Padme, but the boy acted brave.

They were cut off by Jar Jar’s commotion.
He’d activated a droid without a notion.
It scrambled about
Until Jar Jar hit the snout
Jar Jar truly was a fish without ocean.

Next time: Haggling with Watto

Tatooine

The ship touched down with a big puff of dust,
They looked at the hyperdrive, a new generator a must
They’d have to hit town
And get the lowdown
On what it cost for the parts, Mos Espa or bust!

“Don’t send any signals,” Qui Gon said,
“I sense something dark, in my head.”
Obi Wan agreed,
Ever since Theed
He’d had the same feeling that he couldn’t shed.

Qui Gon set out with Jar Jar and Artoo,
When Panaka shouted out, “Hey you!
“The queen doth demand,
To add to your band,
Take Padme along with you too.”

The foursome travelled into the city.
The inhabitants were exotic and gritty.
Jar Jar trampled straight through
A big pile of poodoo
The bottom of his foot wasn’t pretty.

They entered an establishment full of junk
Owned by Watto, a hummingbird with a trunk
“I’m browsing the marts
For some Nubian parts.”
Said Qui Gon to the hovering chunk.

Watto said, “Ah, yes, we have lots of that!
Where’s that boy? Anakin, get in here, brat.”
In his employ
Was a wee little  boy,
Who loved to fix things and to chat.

Next time: Anakin Meets Padme

Getting Past the Blockade

Dodging laser fire from the hangar door
The Naboo cruiser took off with a roar.
They sped through the sky
And continued to fly
Straight towards the blockade ships and war.

Knowing clumsiness could lead to their doom
Obi Wan confined Jar Jar to a small room.
“Here you must stay,
Don’t get in the way.”
And he left Jar Jar there in the gloom.

Jar Jar’s attention was soon enjoyed
By a quintet of astromech droids.
Until the lights all flashed red
When the shields went dead
And the ship saving astromechs deployed.

They made repairs outside of the ship,
Using feet with handy magnetic grip.
One by one they were blasted,
Until only one lasted,
The R2 unit worked with a bleep and blip.

And at last the shields were restored.
Past the blockade the Naboo cruiser soared
But their progress was barred
Cuz’ the hyperdrive was charred
So off to Tattooine to get the ship restored

Next time: Enter Darth Maul

Otoh Gunga City

To the waters edge Jar Jar did take
The two Jedi, and then he spake,
“Weesa going in.”
And did a half spin,
Then the three of them jumped in the lake.


Breathing apparatuses made swimming no trouble
As the trio approached a glowing bubble
They squeezed through its skin
And “pop” they were in
But surrounded by guards on the double.


They were taken to a large Gungan named Boss
Whose cheeks shook when he was cross
He said, “You must go,
Here, take this bongo.
It’s faster to go through than across.”


They took a straight route through the core,
Each fish bigger than the one they saw before.
Jar Jar he did cower 
When the bongo lost power
His poor heart just couldn’t take it much more.

Obi Wan fixed the power, Jar Jar said,"We're dead!"
And true danger did indeed lie up ahead.
An ugly fish face
Started to give chase
But was eaten by a bigger fish instead.



Next time: Welcome to Theed

Meet Jar Jar Binks

The landing craft descended down,
Obi Wan was glad to be on the ground.
The droids moved out
Took the swampy route
And Obi Wan attempted to not be found.


The droid army’s advancement ensued
Qui Gon was being pursued.
Before he could get far
He ran into Jar Jar
Who was foraging the swamps for some food.


“Get out of the way!” Qui Gon waved.
But accidentally Jar Jar’s life he saved 
Just as soon as they met
Jar Jar owed him a life debt
His grateful thanks were babbled and raved


“Calm down, giant frog without brain!”
Qui Gon chastised with unmasked disdain.
“I see you can speak,
But your mind is weak,
And you’re getting to be kind of a pain."


Just then, Obi Wan emerged from the mist
Chased by droids shooting lasers that missed
Qui Gon again saved the day
With some skillful swordplay
Batting lasers with the flick of the wrist.


The Jedi needed a place they could hide
To escape the “terrible things” they implied
Jar Jar said, “Wessa go thither”
But then reconsidered
“Meesa 'fraid my been banished”, he sighed.


The sound of machines soon convinced
He’d rather go home than be minced
“I’ll show you the way,
Follow me, okieday?”
The Jedi looked at each other and winced.


Next Time: Gunga City