Anakin Stays Put

Ani hid in a ship with Artoo.
And watched as the pilots of Naboo
Rose up to skies
Like a whole swarm of flies
Okay...not a swarm... but quite a few.

The queen said, “Let’s head for the throne.”
“Wait for me!” Anakin did intone.
“Anakin, stay your feet,
Keep your butt in that seat.”
Said Qui Gon, making his authority known.

The group made their way towards the hall.
They were met at the door by Darth Maul.
Protecting their neighbors
The Jedi lit their sabers
And said, “We’ll take care o’ this one, y’all.”

At the same time some battle droids rolled in.
Separating Amidala from Qui Gon Jin.
But R2D2
Knew just what to do
And started up the fighter for the win!

Anakin was learning the controls
There was blinking buttons and consoles.
With a gleeful snigger
He pulled on the trigger
And decorated the battle droids with holes.

With the Jedi engaging Darth Maul,
Amidala’s crew ran down the hall.
And out the hangar flew
Anakin and Artoo
And up to the outer space brawl.

On the ground, a swashbuckling ado,
Darth Maul’s moves were akin to Kung Fu.
He leaped and he jumped
And the Jedi were stumped
Because Maul had not one blade, but two!

Next time: The Battles Rage

The Battle Plan

“We’ve located the ship,” Gunray said,
To Sidious’s floating hologram head.
“Her move is too bold,
But let it unfold.
Keep an eye on her and don’t be misled.”

The Queen and her new found comrade
Wrote out battle plans on an old scratch pad.
Jar Jar practically floated
When he was promoted,
“Weesa maken you General (Bombad)!”

The plan was to draw the droids out
To the Gungan army for a direct bout.
Then a group of Naboo
Would try to sneak through
And capture Mr. Viceroy Sans Snout.

“The Gungans might take a great loss,”
Said Qui Gon, looking out across.
“We’re not faint of heart.
We will do our part.”
Said the giant Gungan named Boss.

“If we can free a few pilots en route
We could launch some small ships in pursuit.
With the control ship destroyed,
Their communication would be void,
And the battle droids wouldn’t know who to shoot.

Qui Gon said, “This plan is well thought out
But in order to bring it about
We HAVE to catch Nute,
And your fighters MUST shoot
Through the shields of the control ship, no doubt.

Next time: War

Anakin's Test

Obi Wan Kenobi and Qui Gon Jin
Discussed the fate of Anakin
“The Council is not sold,
The boy is too old
For training,” Obi Wan said again.

But Qui Gon was bound and determined
He was smart but defiant and thick skinned.
If the council forbid
Him to train the young kid
He’d go it alone, Jedi code rescind.

In Council chambers the test proceded
To see if Ani had the attitude he needed.
It was anger and fear
That Yoda did hear
But they continued because Anakin pleaded.

From the Senate there was a report
That Palpatine had the most support
Of Senators for him
To succeed Valorum
He’d stay here and hold down the fort.

Queen Amidala on the other hand,
Desired to go back to her homeland.
“Please ready my ship,
We’ll now make the trip
Back to Naboo where we’ll take a stand.”

Yoda a decision had made.
Anakin’s training was forbade.
Qui Gon made it clear
That he would not adhere,
The Council’s edict would not be obeyed

“There’s no time to discuss this right now.
Amidala’s protection we vow.
Return to Naboo
May the Force be with you
But don’t teach that kid nothing, no how!”

Next time: The Return To Naboo


Star Wars - Episode I, The Phantom Menace (Widescreen Edition)

Darth Maul Strikes!

The trip to the ship then commenced.
Though danger, Qui Gon had sensed.
The embodiment of dread,
With a swirl of black and red,
Drew a sword and then he and Qui Gon fenced.

The two traded incredible blows
They were two evenly matched foes.
With an impressive back flip
Qui Gon landed on the ship
Darth Maul watched as the cruiser arose.

Obi Wan cried, “Master what was that?”
Qui Gon breathing hard where he sat,
“I sensed the Dark Side flowing,
It’s a good thing we got going,
It was well trained in Jedi combat.”


For the first time since the party had left Theed
They had a working hyperdrive to proceed.
Once the engines were prime
They wasted no time
To hit the hyperdrive and enter light speed.

Ani was adjusting to space’s cold.
Padme gave him her jacket to hold.
He gave her a trinket
And told her to think it
Was to remember him (‘cuz that’s how he rolled.)

Next time: Coruscant

Ani Leaves Home

Collecting the new parts from the loser,
They returned to the Nubian cruiser.
Obi Wan then prepares
To start the repairs.
No mechanic, but beggars can’t be chosers.

Qui Gon said, “I’ve got to go back.”
“That kid had the Jedi Knight knack.”
He returned to inform
“Another pathetic life form”
That he was free, and to run and go pack.

When he told the Skywalkers the news
A bittersweet moment ensues.
Ani’s glad to be free
But what about Shmi?
Qui Gon tried , Watto would only refuse.

“My son, you must go with this man.
I’ll stay here and do the best that I can.
Jedi skills you’ll be gaining.
Go work hard at your training.
And know I’ll always be your biggest fan.”

The little boy started to cry
But he knew that he must say goodbye.
“Someday I will see you
When I come back to free you”
Even the old Jedi had a tear in his eye.

Next time: Darth Maul Strikes!

Watto Takes the Bait

The queen’s handmaiden disagreed
About the best way to proceed
“To trust this boy with our fate
Is an idea that I hate.”
But Qui Gon said she’d have to concede.

So they went to Watto with their offer
And he changed from schemer to scoffer
It wasn’t long to wait
until he took the bait,
Watto dreamed of a very full coffer.

Ani showed off his lil’ racing pod
Jar Jar blundered again like a clod
With a flash and a flicker
He ZAPPED his poor licker
While the onlookers laughed and guffawed.

When Jar Jar was done playing the jerk
Ani started up the pod with a smirk
With engines a-fired
His craft was admired
They were beginning to think this might work!

That night Qui Gon took a small reading
From a scratch on Ani’s arm that was bleeding
Midi-chlorians explode-ah
He had more than Yoda!
Jedi training, this boy was sure needing!

Next time: Race Day!

Mama Skywalker

Anakin brought the four strangers home,
A small hovel made of clay, topped with dome.
With big widened eyes
His mom showed surprise
But graciously offered, “Shalom!”

Anakin introduced those he’d befriended.
Qui Gon apologized if their presence offended.
But Shmi acted nice
And Ani broke the ice
By showing them the droid that he’d mended.

Qui Gon Jin didn’t want to intrude.
He told Shmi that they brought their own food.
He complimented her boy
And her eyes shone with joy.
She wondered how Ani’s “talents” would be viewed.

“He’s a protocol droid” Anakin showed.
He took the droid out of sleep mode.
One eye lit with a glow,
“My name’s C3PO,
Human - Cyborg relations,” he crowed.

“I’m building a pod for the races,”
Said Ani to four impressed faces.
Artoo beeped and he cooed,
Saying Threepio was nude,
Parts were showing in improper places.

Next Time: Found By the Sith

Haggling with Watto

Watto wrung his hands, it was clear he was greedy,
A mischievous grin and black eyes that were beady.
“Right here is the part
Makes your hyperdrive start
Open your wallet and try to make it speedy.”


“The price I will charge may seem like a rip.
In fact you may as well buy a new ship.
And how will you pay
For your purchase today?
Keep in mind I only take Tatooine scrip.


The Jedi said, “I’ve twenty thousand credit...”
But was cut off as soon as he’d said it.
“Let me make myself clear,
Republic credit’s no good out here,”
Said the Toydarian, voice as firm as he could get it.


Qui Gon still had a trick up his sleeve,
One that works on the slow and naive.
He waved his hand with a smirk
And said his credits would work
But the Toydarian still didn’t believe.


“Who do you think you are, sonny?
A Jedi Knight? Ha! Now that’s funny!
You are crazy mystics
With your waves and your tricks,
They don’t work on a Toydarian, only money!”


Watto’s prices were akin to theiving,
And rather than whining and greiving,
Qui Gon said to his group,
“I won’t take Watto’s poop.
Jar Jar, put that thing down, we are leaving.”


When his shoppers had left and withdrawn
Watto saw his young assistant yawn.
He was shrewd and he was smart
But he did have a heart.
“Clean the racks, boy, and then you be gone!”


Next time: Don’t Mess with Sebulba

Welcome to Theed

Meanwhile, up on the surface in Theed,

To the Federation, Naboo did concede.

Nute Gunray looked mean

As he said, "Heya, Queen…

I’ve got a new contract for you to read!”

“What a waste of time for you to pen it,

I’m sure it will be laughed out of the Senate.”

Said the Queen to old Nute,

The man with no snoot.

And you’d better believe that she meant it.

“Take these prisoners out of my sight.”

Shouted Nute Gunray, irked by the queen’s spite.

Elsewhere, out on the bay,

Coming to save the day

A bongo with a Gungan and two Jedi Knights.

The droids marched their prisoners single file

“This will be easy!” Qui Gon smiled.

They jumped down from above,

And applied a Force shove

And reduced the droid soldiers to a pile.

Introductions were made all around.

They determined a ship must be found.

It caused great grief

To the Security chief

For the danger to the Queen Naboo crowned.

Queen Amidala agreed that she must go.

To the Senate this treachery she'd show.
With the Senators’ backing

She’d send Gunray packing

And again Naboo’s trade routes would flow.

Into the hangar, the gallant group strode

Through the droid army, the two Jedi mowed.

They all got on the ship

And they started their trip

To Coruscant, the Senate’s abode.

Next time: Getting Past the Blockade

Meet Jar Jar Binks

The landing craft descended down,
Obi Wan was glad to be on the ground.
The droids moved out
Took the swampy route
And Obi Wan attempted to not be found.


The droid army’s advancement ensued
Qui Gon was being pursued.
Before he could get far
He ran into Jar Jar
Who was foraging the swamps for some food.


“Get out of the way!” Qui Gon waved.
But accidentally Jar Jar’s life he saved 
Just as soon as they met
Jar Jar owed him a life debt
His grateful thanks were babbled and raved


“Calm down, giant frog without brain!”
Qui Gon chastised with unmasked disdain.
“I see you can speak,
But your mind is weak,
And you’re getting to be kind of a pain."


Just then, Obi Wan emerged from the mist
Chased by droids shooting lasers that missed
Qui Gon again saved the day
With some skillful swordplay
Batting lasers with the flick of the wrist.


The Jedi needed a place they could hide
To escape the “terrible things” they implied
Jar Jar said, “Wessa go thither”
But then reconsidered
“Meesa 'fraid my been banished”, he sighed.


The sound of machines soon convinced
He’d rather go home than be minced
“I’ll show you the way,
Follow me, okieday?”
The Jedi looked at each other and winced.


Next Time: Gunga City

The Saga Begins...

A long time ago and far faraway,
a story was told of an epic space fray.
The good and the bad
In the life of a lad,
How he was lost but then found his way.


The story begins out in the cold of space
With two creatures of the Neimoidian race,
Questionable men of space trade
Imposing a blockade
And curiously devoid of a nose on their face.


On their command ship they welcomed aboard
Two Jedi (galactic peacekeepers, with sword).
Qui Gon Jinn was the older,
and Obi Wan at his shoulder,
Their mission: to see the trade routes restored.


The Neimoidians shivered with fear.
The Jedi weren’t supposed to be here.
Like two snakes in the grass
They gassed ‘em with gas
And sent in a droid to give the “All’s clear.”


The Jedi were good at holding their breath
Which was helpful in avoiding certain death.
It was still quite a chore
To cut through the door
And emerge in the corridor, Oh yeth! (Pardon the temporary lisp)


Their escape drew the Neimoidian’s ire
The destroyer droids then opened fire.
Outnumbered and out-gunned,
The two Jedi runned
And along the way a few droids they did retire.


They escaped down the ventilation shaft
Amazed at the army the Federation staffed.
To warn the Naboo
Was the Jedi thing to do
So they stowed away on separate landing craft.


Next time: The Queen Makes Some Calls...